Tonight I was bored and went to a large and charismatic (or is it pentecostal?) local four square church that I've been wanting and curious to spy on for awhile. I secretly hoped it would be normal so I would have confidence in the future about encouraging my advocacy group to approach the church to host the homeless group I work with. Unfortunately I did not leave with a peaceful, easy feeling!
Let's just say that I might have a masochistic streak for wanting to subject myself to an experience like I just had! I probably won't be bitching about my home church now for at least a few weeks! In the future maybe when I start to think I have it bad at the Methodist church, I'll just drive out to Boulevard Road and get the hell scared out of me!
I knew things weren' t going to go well from the beginning, when a lady approached me and actually informed me that I was in her pew! When I calmly said I would move she said "oh no, don't do that". But you know of course then I had to just to make a point. I know a thing or two about how parishioners are supposed to treat first time attendees and booting them from the pews is not it! So I shuffled to the back row, where God knows I am most comfortable anyway. (Just in case you can't tell by my tone, I wasn't really offended and actually felt secretly pleased to be slighted in such a bold way-- it made it easier for me to judge the church as a whole, God forgive me later!)
Honestly, the charismatic church is a very large, very enjoyable church at first glance. The praise team is amazing and even as someone who doesn't really get into "praise" music, I still found myself deeply moved. Its really something when one thousand people start singing to God. Then it comes down to hypnosis sometime after they reach 30 minutes of nonstop singing. It becomes irresistibly trance-like and you find yourself really wanting to experience something even if you really think the whole thing is a giant crock! There is a scientific explanation! Its called crowd control baby and its what Benny Hinn got his PHD in (not really).
Something inside of me sort of leaped though (to use weird bible language and keep in the spirit of service I just attended!) when I heard all that praise music. I really was overwhelmed is what I am saying, and I am a cynical, cynical gal. But I am also a believer in Christ and maybe that's why it was so powerful. But then people started talking.
Why oh why did people have to start talking?
The sermon was about why Jesus cried when he entered the city on what we now celebrate as Palm Sunday. The pastor said it was because he saw all of our future--the future of everyone sitting in the church-- and it made him sad that we would all be going to hell if we didn't follow God. (Before this though he encouraged the men to go to a mens retreat because men are special in God's eyes and then mumble something about "girls" night out, which I guess meant something that the women of the church attend. Semantics sure, but very noticeable in the larger context of the theme of "men's importance".)
Basically said we shouldn't make Jesus cry or we'll go to hell, but he screamed out prophesies to the audience to. He would whisper and then climatically raise his voice. I wonder if he was raised in the Baptist church because that was what it reminded me of. He would then "throw" prophesies out over the audience such as "YOU are going to be healed young man" and "YOU there! YOU are going into the ministry!" I made sure to duck down low in my pew so I wouldn't get hit with any. God knows I've got enough to worry about.
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