joining the church and then giving it up...but for a good reason

So I am hurting for money. Badly. Grant money is running out. Things should get better after July 1st when we start the new year and have more funding, but right now my hours are cut (in theory anyway, really I am just working almost the same amount but getting paid several hundred dollars less a month!)

So I prayed about this and yesterday one of my favorite church people called me out of the blue to ask me if I would take care of a church member with MS. I have no experience doing this and said so, but she has a woman willing to train me. It turns out I know most of her friends- they are all church people too. Today I met with the lady and she is so wonderful! The catch is that the times she needs me to take care of her are every single time I have something church related or could possibly attend church: saturday nights, sunday morning and sunday nights.

I thought about it long and hard. I thought about telling her I couldn't do it because I wanted to go to church. I couldn't say that to her. I felt so strongly that God wanted me to take care of her and to hang out with her, and that this would also be a great way to help supplement my income. So I told her that I could commit for 3 to 4 months and then we could go from there. Even though I am terrified of going without church, I feel peace about it.

So that's how it came to be that I am joining the church this Sunday, but then never going to be there during service (with the exception of our pastors going away party on June 8, where I am also going to read scripture) for the next 3-4 months, maybe longer. What I am giving up is Sunday morning sunday school, sunday morning service my small group (mosaic), and the compline service. I know there is a small group that meets Thursday nights at St. Johns for communion, and the bible class still meets at my church on Wednesdays. Maybe that will be enough. Also, one of my pastors is doing a group I think Mondays on Brian McClaren.. but then I have softball Monday nights starting in June so that might not work.

All I know is that I could NOT tell that woman I would not help her because I wanted to go to church instead. Those words would not come out of my mouth. And I genuinely want to do it. So, hello church membership and goodbye church. It should be interesting and sad and faith developing all at once. I am going to miss the people, the messages, the friendships. But its only for a little while!