i have been thinking more about praise and worship music as it relates to the emergent church. In my last post I quoted from Paul Mayers excellent writing on why we're not singing anymore.
After some research for this post it turns out that this song is actually not a "hymn." The compline choir sang it as though it were a hymn. But, hmmm, clearly the wikipedia article says it was written in 1984!
What makes something a hymn as opposed to a "worship song"? Its age?
For me personally I associate positive and negative experiences with different kinds of church music. For example, songs like Lord I Lift Your Name on High, My Life is in You Lord, or Open the eyes of my heart Lord.... (sorry there is no nice way of saying this) make me want to jump from a moving car. This is because I associate them with church fakery, false piety, mega church gatherings, corruption and just in general, they have the tendency to be repetitious and even used in some cases as a kind of assault on the people.
I am not trying to attack charismatic churches, I am just saying that for me personally, I see this repetition as a kind of mental violence. Conversely, songs such as As the Deer and others, for me, are associated with positive church experiences, so they sort of get a pass as being authentic. How convenient for me!
To get back the main point of this post, certain songs carry different meanings for different people. Different people have different experiences and that's great. God knows I don't want to be "intolerant"!
I guess I am just trying to figure out why certain worship styles agitate me so much? Is it because I am secretly jealous that some people experience spirituality differently ? I don't think so, well I sure hope not. Is it because I think that people who have what appears to be transformative spiritual experiences to songs like "O Lord, you're sweet let's wash each other's feet" are insincere just because that does not match the way that I experience God? Yeah I think that might be part of it, for me at least.
This is going to sound really, really bad, but I don't like it when people raise their hand like they are "feeling the spirit." That is not the way I feel "the spirit", not that I am even claiming to be able to understand what "the spirit" even is.
That's part of it too. How can these people know they are really experiencing God when they raise their hand or whatever? Are they trying to let everyone else know they are experiencing God? To me that seems like some kind of religious gesture done for the benefit of other people, probably because if I were to raise my hand, that's what it would mean!
Well, I am sure I sound like a judgmental, terrible person. Lately I have been thinking how amazing it is, the things I will justify doing in the almighty name of being "honest".
Last night I went to a Compline service. At this weekly service a small choir stands at the back of the church chanting prayers and singing hymns while people meditate, chant along, or pray etc. I really don't have adjectives that do justice to this service. The sound of the choir singing is so beautiful that it is very, very difficult to explain what exactly is really happening. I have really never experienced anything like it before.
Anyway one of songs they sung last night was "As the Deer".
the way they sang it was like water.Anyway one of songs they sung last night was "As the Deer".
What makes something a hymn as opposed to a "worship song"? Its age?
For me personally I associate positive and negative experiences with different kinds of church music. For example, songs like Lord I Lift Your Name on High, My Life is in You Lord, or Open the eyes of my heart Lord.... (sorry there is no nice way of saying this) make me want to jump from a moving car. This is because I associate them with church fakery, false piety, mega church gatherings, corruption and just in general, they have the tendency to be repetitious and even used in some cases as a kind of assault on the people.
I am not trying to attack charismatic churches, I am just saying that for me personally, I see this repetition as a kind of mental violence. Conversely, songs such as As the Deer and others, for me, are associated with positive church experiences, so they sort of get a pass as being authentic. How convenient for me!
To get back the main point of this post, certain songs carry different meanings for different people. Different people have different experiences and that's great. God knows I don't want to be "intolerant"!
I guess I am just trying to figure out why certain worship styles agitate me so much? Is it because I am secretly jealous that some people experience spirituality differently ? I don't think so, well I sure hope not. Is it because I think that people who have what appears to be transformative spiritual experiences to songs like "O Lord, you're sweet let's wash each other's feet" are insincere just because that does not match the way that I experience God? Yeah I think that might be part of it, for me at least.
This is going to sound really, really bad, but I don't like it when people raise their hand like they are "feeling the spirit." That is not the way I feel "the spirit", not that I am even claiming to be able to understand what "the spirit" even is.
That's part of it too. How can these people know they are really experiencing God when they raise their hand or whatever? Are they trying to let everyone else know they are experiencing God? To me that seems like some kind of religious gesture done for the benefit of other people, probably because if I were to raise my hand, that's what it would mean!
Well, I am sure I sound like a judgmental, terrible person. Lately I have been thinking how amazing it is, the things I will justify doing in the almighty name of being "honest".
5 comments:
"As the Deer" is so beautiful that it makes me want to cry every time I hear it.
hey gooditsraining!
followed you here from my blog novuslumen.net because you link there...thanks!
this was a neat post. very authentic and self-revealing. its interesting when we consider the idea of spiritual experience. I think it scares us sometimes that we cant box it up and categorize it which Christians just love doing :)
but how can you categorize spiritual experience when the idea by necessity requires subjectivity...because it is an issue of the individual and God?
anyway, it was good of you to voice your own conflict, and be honest about how you view others responses to that god-experience. maybe if we all stepped back a bit from our own presuppositions and situations we'd understand a bit more of how others experience God, and are right and true in that experience...
anyway, thanks for the words...and the link :)
-jeremy
thanks for commenting guys.
i am actually lucky enough to be going to a really good church and i try very hard not to pay attention to anyone there that way i can actually get something out of it. at the service i go to it is all hymns, so that makes it easier as well.
for awhile i thought that God didn't exist because there is no knowing outside of each persons personal frame of reference, so there is no objective way of knowing "Truth", including knowing that God exists. well, i still think this, i am just getting better at living with the "tension" (as you call it at your website, Jeremy) of the contradiction of having belief in my life anyway. so... i am sure i will be able to get to that place with this "contemporary worship" stuff too. eventually. peace guys.
thankyou for your honesty! we have similar thoughts and experiences. It seems to me that you are still trying, whereas I have pretty much given up at the whole christian thing.
oxford english dictionary has "1. A song of praise to God; any composition in praise of God which is adapted to be chanted or sung; spec. a metrical composition adapted to be sung in a religious service; sometimes distinguished from psalm or anthem, as not being part of the text of the Bible."
so denotationally, no difference from "worship song". but you're right, conotationally, a hymn is older.
or try this google search
Benjamin- thanks for posting your thoughts, i like reading what you have to say.
it has only been very recently, really just this last year, that i have started "trying" again... and even more recently (maybe the last month or so) that i have even been willing to admit to this "trying". that is kind of why i created this blog... to make myself be more honest with myself about my spiritual experience....
i dont know about you, but it was 5000 times harder for me to give up christianity than it was to give up the church. at this point i am not even sure i ever completely was able to give up christianity.
i hope you don't feel bad for doing what you think is best. personally i dont think its wrong to take a break from the whole enchilada if what you are experiencing doesn't feel honest.
i just can't bring myself to believe that God wants people to stay in the church or stay "christians" when they don't really believe in what they are doing. its like banging your head against the wall.
for me, though, there came a time (recently) when it felt more honest to be in church than to not be in church. i don't know if that makes sense or not.
anyway, peace.
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