still feverish: more missional emergent monastic churchish stuff

Made it into work only to be sent home. My coworkers are kind.

I have been trying to be still. Being sick makes me realize how much energy I have, how strong I feel life within me. Maybe I am talking about what I perceive to be my spirit.

In my last post I said I didn't talk about my spirituality here anymore.

One idea I share with others is to start a group of people-- people who are alienated by the church, younger adults, older people that understand denominationalism is going to end, and others, and bring everyone into a kind of collaborative effort to ________. I wish there was a safe space for people to gather and talk and discuss. I know there are lots of people scattered in various local churches, and other people who have dropped out of churches and I want to see these and other people come together. I want help organize some kind of group that doesn't inspire people to snicker and be cynical and roll their eyes, I want to be part of a group of people seeking to connect with God in a way that is sincere and authentic.

I want to be part of a missional church, well, I am part of a missional church.

Here is what drives me mad/crazy/ makes me nuts: I know three different people, different leaders in their various communities, all of whom I have much respect for, that are all talking about a similar kind of thing/ project/gathering/conversation. I am connected to all of them in different ways, and believe in all three of their unique dreams. My question is this: why can't everyone just get together and collaborate? Why can't people start a conversation together about building a new and relevant community that is going to focus on helping others as an expression of faith?

Also, I am a very impatient person. I like to get things done, I know how to organize, to make things happen NOW, not next month, next year or in the ambiguous future. Life is short, I want to get things done!

Now, I don't like to pretend expressions of faith that I don't have, but I do believe in missional communities and really could help build, organize something. I want be a part of something, I feel like there is so much potential here. I feel like I am starving for sincere spiritual "fellowship" with people and I am going to 3 different churches! Maybe its my problem. Maybe I need to try harder. I feel that so much of church is not about our spirituality, but about churchstuff. I feel like there is so much fakery at different churches. Is that because there is a boat load of fakery or because I am too cynical?

If what I am saying doesn't make sense, my excuse is a very real fever.